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To a fault, I can be one of the most opinionated people that you’ll ever meet and I will always have something to say about anything and everything.  Give me a story with little facts about a young black kid who gets killed in a neighborhood by a “white/mexican” security guard and I’m all over it, especially if social media and the news carelessly begin tagging it as a race / hate murder.  Or feed me video footage about blacks terrorizing their city in anger and I’ll have lots of opinions to share about their careless reaction.  Or hey Facebook, feed me the latest trendiest videos and posts about Hillary Clinton being a big fat liar or Obama helping feed the race division that’s in our country so that I can get sucked into the 5,000 comment thread and waste half of my day doing so.  Want my thoughts about Joel Osteen and his mega mansion and him having no right to own a house that big, even if it was purchased with money from the many businesses that he has owned before even becoming a pastor?  Just post some awesome hate memes about it and I’m all over it.


I believe our opinions matter and we all have something to say, but after realizing how much meaningless time I was wasting doing it on Facebook I took a step back and said No More.  This came about through a mixture of two things:  One, a dear friend of mine who I hadn’t met in person yet, shared some very inspirational words with me about how much MY opinion mattered and how much impact it could be having on those that follow me.  Two, a personal change in my life revealed what truly mattered in my life and it didn’t include stupid Facebook opinions about the latest trendy topics.

I can’t remember her words exactly, but this friend of mine one day messaged me and in the nicest and most tender way possible said “Hector, do you know how powerful your words and your opinion are?  Do you realize how many people follow you and look up to you?” (paraphrased) She expressed how, whether I like it or not, there are people who look up to me and are influenced by my words and actions.  There are a variety of groups and organizations that I’m involved in, and with that comes positions of “leadership” that I never really pay much attention to.  So if I have a very divisive opinion about a topic of race, for example, I’m influencing many people that I don’t even know about.  This became clear to me one day as I was out on a group bike ride, and while waiting in line at a bar someone who I would have never even assumed was reading my blog posts got my attention when he said “Hey man, I loved your recent post about being a better person.  Very inspiring”.  This was a young man in his 20s who I don’t think even “Liked” my Facebook post about the blog.  Haha.  It was encouraging to hear those words from him, while at the same time a reminder of how far my online words can reach.


There’s no better time to receive a real perspective on life than when you’re going through challenges or some type of loss.  That was the case for me a few months ago and my interest in getting caught up in silly Facebook debates stopped instantly.  None of it mattered in the grand scheme of things.  I had just lost someone that I loved very much, and my opinion on another race riot or police shooting meant zero to me.  It was during this time that I realized how trivial it all was and how much time is wasted on debating topics that are simply trending items and nothing more.

Think about it, everyday we are fed videos, photos, memes, and news updates on trending topics and stories and those stories become the topic of “discussion” for a couple of weeks.  All it takes is seeing one of our friend’s opinions on these stories and we all of a sudden feel the need to be heard as well and we dive in.  If these stories would never have been put in front of us, we would never have known about them and in turn, never would have had that crazy opinion that we posted on Facebook.  Also, within a week or so, there’s already a brand new trending topic waiting for you to get sucked into.  No one wins in these debates either, no one.  You might think that you’re debating but in essence no one ever really backs down or concedes.  That’s not a debate, that’s a shouting match.  When is the last time you remember someone in a Facebook post debate say “you know what guys, you’re right, I’m wrong, I’m changing my opinion on this matter”?  Probably never, right?


I love Facebook, Instagram, sometimes Twitter, and some occasional Snap chatting.  This is how we communicate today and in and of itself, these communication mediums are not bad things.  For me personally, I use them to communicate and be stupid with friends and promote my business and the many events that we create.  Facebook should be fun and we shouldn’t use it as a platform to bitch and whine all of the time.  Have fun with it.  Let’s all lighten up and not get sucked into the machine.  And don’t be that person that decides to delete their account because you can’t “handle it”.  Those people crack me up, because they always come back.  Yes, always.

So today, have fun.  Let’s see pics of your kids, your dogs, your lunch, you running in the rain, or some funny memes.  But don’t get caught up in a stupid online debate, because all it’s going to do is piss you off at some point and the only person that will suffer is your puppy, who didn’t get a chance to be seen today or get over 40 likes in an awesome Facebook post.

All comments matter.  Make yours count today.  The weather is awesome here in Houston.  Get outside and enjoy it.  We’ll be waiting for your happy posts and pics.



This past weekend, my wife and I attended a surprise party for one of her uncles. My wife is Filipino and what that means in regards to parties is that there is enough food to feed about 5,000 people! Seriously, if you want to go to parties where it’s a given that you will take a bag full of food home, then go find some Filipinos to become friends with. You won’t regret it. White people, learn from the Filipinos and Mexicans. Stop having parties that only provide chips, dip, and one plate of tuna sandwiches and some cookies. You should be ashamed of yourself! ha. Sorry, I had to throw that in there. It’s all good. No hurt feelings, right? Just take your party food up to another level, please.

Well, this post is’nt about food or parties, it’s about a young man. While at this party, there was a young guy (we’ll call him Mike), maybe in his late teens, and from the time that we entered the house till we left, he spent most of his time off to the side with his head and eyes buried in a Nintendo DS. Of course I step out and address these kinds of people who try to hide out and avoid being social, but I was probably the only one who acknowledged “mike” (other than his parents). But even when I did, his response was weak and not full of a lot of life or enthusiasm. His hand shake was weak as well.

This encounter confirmed some thoughts I’ve had for quite a while about young people and the affects that technology has on them, particularly young men. This is a generation of young boys who are growing up under the care and teaching of a computer or gaming system, allowing technology to replace their need to be social through the most basic form we know, which is human to human. Technology is keeping our kids glued to a screen and universe that doesn’t require them to be truly social.  We call the use of tools such as Facebook, Twitter, and Myspace as “social media”, but anyone can type thoughts and pretend to be whatever they want online.  “Social Media” doesn’t require a lot of work or effort.

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