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WHEN YOU HAVE NOTHING TO SAY, SAY NOTHING

I love writing, as it’s one of the most therapeutic things I can do, and aside from my 14 year old chihuahua named Squirt, writing has helped me get through some really tough times over the past few years. Just a year ago after a very bad break up, I found myself writing everyday for almost a month, many times doing so at like 3 or 4am, knowing that if I didn’t write out what was in my head I would never be able to sleep. This stint of unloading my thoughts into my 13″ Macbook Pro eventually turned into a small book, one that no one will ever get to read.

My last blog post dates back to March 2016 which was titled “Make More Mistakes” and it was around that time that I felt that I had nothing else to write. It was almost like the end of a very long several months of therapy, with my last blog post being the last visit to the doctor’s office. If you read back through my posts before that you’ll see that the overall theme was the result of being hurt from the breakup and working through the after math and a broken heart. This blog exists as a place for me to share my thoughts, my life, and lessons learned in hopes that it will help someone else, so if you come through here regularly then I hope it has done just that.

There have been many times since March where I say to myself “Hmm, I need to blog about something, it’s been so long” only to find myself sitting in front of my computer with nothing to write. I won’t write and make up some bull shit just for the sake of blogging, but today I felt the urge to write about nothing. Haha.

I have a lot of “blogger” friends that work to keep their blogs fresh and updated with new content, hoping to increase their following and website traffic, etc. There are entire blogging communities that work to help each other do the same, but that doesn’t really interest me. This is an outlet for me and I’ll write when I feel like I actually have something to say and today the only thing that I have to say is “Hello” and share that I haven’t really had anything to write lately. LOL.

If you have a blog or some type of online presence, write what you feel and every time you write, be sure to feel what you write. Let everything that you write have purpose and don’t be afraid to admit the times that you simply have nothing to say. You’ll find your writing to be much more powerful and enjoyable when it comes from your heart.

I’ve learned a lot about myself this past year and I have tons to write about, I just haven’t felt the need to share it. I think that over the next few weeks I’ll take time to share the many lessons that I’ve learned and provide some insight and tools that have been life savers for me. I have an entire series that I could devote to therapy and how valuable and life changing it can be. Maybe I’ll start with that in a few days. Maybe.

Till then, have an awesome day, or week.

@hectorgarciahtx

Posted on August 18, 2016 In Blog, Life, Personal Growth, Resources blog, feel what you write, make a shift, Personal Growth, therapeutic writing, therapy, writing

1 Comment

OWN YOUR SHIT

Im pretty sure the day was a Monday afternoon in the summer because dad had just called us in for lunch and his days off were Sunday and Mondays and we weren’t in our Sunday clothes.

As my brothers and I grabbed our plates and parked ourselves around the behemoth of a TV, ( you remember that crappy cheaply stained big box of a tv that looked like it took an acre of trees to make) we started our routine argument about what we were going to watch. Of course I wanted to watch cartoons and they wanted to watch MTV or something I had no clue about. I was only 7 and it was a long time ago but I can still feel that blue shaggy carpet and the summer breeze that would blow through the windows.

Growing up in our house there was an unwritten law that everyone abided by and that was that the AC was only allowed to be turned on from 4pm – 6am. So if you wanted to be inside the house during the heat of the day, you made sure every window in the house was open. As we continued arguing, we kept getting louder and louder about what to we should watch. By then My father was fed up and simply yelled from the kitchen , “lla!”. Translated to English , “Stop! Cut it out!.”We did and as always I was out voted. After that, My older brother changed the channel to what he wanted watch and we just sat there eating our lunch in silence.

As we continued eating, my older brother began to sniff the air and then continued to sniff with determination, like a blood hound out to find his target. This then became his mission and he took another long sniff of the air to confirm the odor and yells, ” who farted? I’m eating! That’s nasty!” Everyone denies the accusation and the ping pong match begins. He then says, “Well why does it smell like shit!” The timing could not have been more perfect if it had been scripted, they all said in a unanimous voice, ” Steve did it !”, which surprised the hell out of me! I was completely lost! Had I farted and not realized it? By then my two brothers had jumped on my older brother’s wave and started saying it was because I hadn’t showered since the day before and that maybe I didn’t wipe right. Needless to say I defend myself the best way any 7 year old kid would, by simply saying, ” nuh-uh, nuh-uh!”

Of course by this time we were very loud and my dad decided to walk over to the living room and asked what the heck was going on. Once aging the destiny child group sang in harmony ,” Steve crapped on himself or really needs to go take a shower because it smells like poop and we can’t eat.” Like a scratched record I stayed in the bridge signing , ” nuh-uh, nuh-uh!”

As my brothers waited for my dad to get after me, my father simply asked, “Were you guys playing outside?” “Yes” we all said. He then looked at my older brother and simply said, “Look at the bottom of your shoe.” You see my brother was sitting Indian style with a huge turd on the bottom of his shoe which was facing the side I was sitting on. I can see how my older brother thought it was me, I can see how it was so easy to say that I was the source of the stank. The one who made a stink about the stank is the one who ruined his own appetite.

Although I was free and clear of all wrong doing , Id like to believe we all learned a valuable lesson that day. Like most valuable lessons they fly out the window when we need to apply them. Like myself, I’m almost certain you have reflected on some instances in your life when you could have saved yourself some pain, embarrassment and sadness by simply checking the bottom of your shoe and admitting to your contribution to the situation.

There will be times in life when everything seems like it’s someone else’s fault, like all the signs point to someone else for your misfortune or “bad luck”. Well I say to you today, before you start blaming someone else or society and whatever excuses we can come up with, let’s take a hard look at ourselves. Let’s be honest with ourselves, about how we acted, what we did, how little effort we have put in and most importantly lets be honest about how no matter how awesome your are today, there is always room for improvement.

I say to you once again, let’s be honest with ourselves and dig deep, leave no rock unturned and no shoe unchecked so we can enjoy our lunch and enjoy this show we call life.

Steve Martinez: Guest Blogger. | @iamstevemtz

Posted on February 24, 2016 In Blog, Life, Personal Growth change the world, do it, make a shift, own it, own your shit, who stepped in it

BETTER PART 3: A LETTER TO MEN

I celebrated 43 years of living on this earth in May and I don’t claim to know it all. In fact, by this age I would say that I know very little and there’s still so much to learn. But I’ve lived long enough and been through enough that I feel I can give good counsel and advice to others, much of that through learning from my own successes and of course my own mistakes.

This “Better” series that I’ve been writing comes from a lot of reflecting and a desire to share what I’ve been learning, hoping that maybe it can help a few. This morning I wanted to write to men and offer encouragement to not only be better father’s, son’s, friends, and mates, but to simply be better men. One thing that we don’t do regularly as men is encourage other men. Women do this naturally because it’s part of their design, to care, love, share and open up to one another. The thought of doing this as men comes with reservations and not wanting to be “gay”. Sorry, but it’s true, most men don’t spend time building each other up because it doesn’t feel masculine. However, I would say that some of the best counsel that I’ve received to date has been from a few male friends who stepped up when I needed them most, and much of that only came after I chose to open up to them first.

What’s funny is that if asked what kind of man not to be, we could all recall that one guy that treated his girlfriend like shit in public or the one that everyone felt was always being an asshole or douche bag. Those are easy to spot and yes, very good examples of how not to be, but I also see lots of good examples and it’s those that I want to pull from this morning.

BE THAT GUY

I know that social media, Facebook and Instagram only gives us snapshots of people’s lives and we may only be seeing the “good” or people at their “best”, but that’s OK. I have a younger friend who I’ve known since the mid 90’s who is a single dad and one of the most encouraging things that I see on a daily basis is how much he loves his son. I would have to say that he loves the hell out of his little boy and it’s very obvious. I have no kids of my own, but I want to be that guy, the guy that invests in family and those that matter most. The guy that wants to be a good example to his kid and raise a solid young man. I want to be the guy that knows what is right and does it. I want to be the guy that other men look up to as a leader, someone that others want to follow who know will give good counsel if and when needed.

I want to be the guy that speaks up for truth when he has to and isn’t ashamed to stand for what’s right. The guy that won’t act like an asshole in an effort to impress his friends or put his friends before his family. I want to be the guy that puts others first, who will always be ready to give the shirt off of his back to someone in need. The guy that wears his heart on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to express himself or admit when he needs help. I want to be the guy that isn’t ashamed to cry during a good movie or chick flick. Haha. I want to be the guy that opens her door and pulls out her chair at dinner. I want to be the guy that makes her feel safe and secure who no other man can get to. The guy that makes her feel like a queen or the guy that always makes her feel like first place. The guy that lifts her up and not tears her down. The guy that loves unconditionally and never gives up. I want to be the guy that others look up to and not down on. The guy that is upright, who may not be perfect, but who others will refer to as a “stand up guy”. I want to be the guy that isn’t afraid to admit his mistakes and learns from them, who falls but gets right back up and tries again, harder. I want to be that guy, that man that leaves his mark on the world and on those around him. I want to lead, not follow, but if I have to follow I want to follow other men that are going somewhere.

I just want to be that guy who may not have all of his “shit together”, but is doing the best he can with what he has. I want to change the world and rather than do it alone, I want to do it with others who also want to “be that guy”.

Lift each other up today men. Be strong. Be great examples. Love on your family. Give your girlfriend or wife long, strong hugs and kisses and make them feel safe. Get up early and make them coffee and breakfast tacos or get to Chickfila. Hold your kids a little longer this morning. Be great today. Be that guy that people will remember as awesome and nothing less. Be better than you were yesterday.

@hectorgarciahtx

Posted on August 25, 2015 In Blog, Life, Personal Growth, Resources be that guy, encouragement, leader, leadership, make a shift, men, shift, that guy

When Life starts acting up, Kick it in the chest.

August 27, 2010 — Leave a comment

It was 1985, the sun was down, other kids were playing around the apartments playground, some were playing basketball, a few were playing marbles off to the side, and me, well, I was breakdancing of course. Everyday after school we would hang out in the playground with our huge piece of cardboard and we’d practice until we couldn’t dance anymore. We moved to these apartments for a year for several reasons, just me, my mom, her new husband at that time and my little brother Rocky. He was around 8 years old with the coolest bowl haircut ever seen.

As we were dancing and hanging out, I was interrupted by the sound of my little brother yelling at a bigger kid to leave him alone. There was a chubby little kid in the complex who was known for being a bully and he was messing with my little brother on the other side of a 20 foot fence. I shouted at that kid from the other side to leave Rocky alone but he wouldn’t give. I don’t know what came over me at that point, but I started running towards the fence exit, ran full blast around to the other side, fixed my eyes on the chubby boy and as I got about 10 feet from him I jumped in the air, extended my leg and kicked him right in the chest! This was all spontaneous and something I had never done before. I had never taken karate or any type of martial arts. This all just happened instinctively. Could have been my natural born ninja skills coming out. I don’t know. Well, the kid went straight to the ground, trying to catch his breath. Everyone who witnessed this were trippin of course. I was trippin as well. I just did a flying karate kick to a kid’s chest! What the? I think I played it off like I knew what I was doing and took my little brother back to the other side of the fence with me.

Later that night we get a knock on our door. My mom is home by this time and she answers. Standing outside was this kid, his dad, and older brother. All i remember is the dad pulling the kid’s shirt up and seeing a bruise on his chest in the shape of my shoe, sole pattern and all! My mom took care of me that night with the belt, but I’m sorry, as a kid my age, seeing my shoe imprint on a kid’s chest was something out of one of those old school karate movies and it seemed worth the belt woopin.

I would of course never recommend that any kid do this, unless you’re being bullied and need to protect yourself or your little brother. I’m not the violent type either and this was probably the only physical encounter I ever had growing up. But if there’s a moral to this story at all, maybe it’s this. Life is going to bully you around as long as you’re alive. There will always be something that tries to steal from you, push you around, break you and beat you up. All you can do is stand firm and fight back. Don’t let life win. When you need to do a flying kick to the chest of something that’s bringing you down, kick it! If you find yourself in a helpless situation, choke it or punch it in the face. Don’t be afraid to do what instinctively feels right to protect yourself. Be strong. Allow others to be strong for you. And to those that believe in something bigger than yourself, allow God to be your strength always.

From one ninja to another, keep kickin.

– Hector Garcia

In Blog, Life breakdancing, bullies, make a shift, ninjas

Live.Love.Laugh.

August 5, 2010 — Leave a comment

One of the most popular phrases that we’ve all heard at least once and will continue to hear is that “life isn’t easy”. It’s really not and for some it’s an every day balance between work, kids, school, activities, debt, relationships, friendships, play, and family. If we’re not careful, life can beat the crap out of us and keep us down for long stretches of time.

But the hardness of life doesn’t have to defeat us or win. We can choose everyday to fight back and allow the good things in life to supercede the bad. We can make the choice to wake up every morning and be happy or find at least one tiny little thing to focus on that will keep our head above water for that day. For some it’s their kids or mate. For others it can be their faith in God. Some even find it in a hobby, sport, or even their craft. Whatever the case, I feel like there are at least three things that we can do everyday that will always make it good a one.

LIVE.

I’ve had someone tell me before, “I love the way that you live life”. This was of course in response to seeing all the stuff that I do and how much fun I’m always trying to have. Regardless of how tough things might be, I really do love life. I enjoy living and experiencing all that life has to offer. If I could afford it, I would travel the world and see as much of it as I could. I do what I can now with what I have, but this life was meant to live and that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m a little kid in a man’s body per se, and yes, I do want to have as much fun as possible. Just seems like the natural way to live.

Every morning when you wake up, choose to Live. Don’t get caught up in the routines of life. Make the most of everyday. Treat yourself. Have fun. Take time out to have fun, however that may be. And if you have a hard time treating yourself, get someone to help push you and force you to make time. Take trips. Go running. Swim. Ride a bike. Do something good for someone else. Give. Dance, even if it’s by yourself in your home with the radio full volume. Move yourself to get the most out of every single stinkin day of your life. This life is too short to get caught up in the crap that it throws at us everyday.

LOVE.

I firmly believe that Life without Love is no life at all. There are so many different forms of love. There’s the love that you have for your kids or family. There’s love that you would feel towards a friend. And then there’s straight up falling in love, which is one of my favorites. But love is essential if we are going to say that we’re “living life”.

I’ve been “blessed” with such a big heart and the ability to love and forgive so easily. Sometimes it’s a blessing and sometimes it feels like a curse, but I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m not ashamed of it. Those who know me well know that I have no problem expressing my feelings and sharing my heart. Again, life is too short to keep what we feel bottled up inside and all to ourselves. If I love someone why keep it inside? Why not let that person know how much they are loved? We all want to be loved and appreciated, so by me keeping that inside, I’m depriving someone from receiving one of the most powerful feelings and emotions we as humans could ever experience.

Open your heart today. Allow yourself to love and be loved. Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve and let others know what you feel or think. We’re emotional beings and were created to love. Love with all of your heart. There should be no such thing as loving with half of it anyway, right? Choose to love today. Give love today. And if someone loves you, open your heart and receive it.

LAUGH.

Some research shows that by the time the average kid reaches kindergarten, he or she is laughing some 300 times each day. Compare that to adults who only laugh about 15 – 17 times per day (men and women laugh about the same, just at different things of course).

I’m 38 years old, and I would have to say that my laughter count is more than likely way more than 17 and hopefully closer to that of a kid’s. I love to laugh and I love making people laugh. A day without any laughter would suck! We all know how powerful laughter is too, because we’ve all had a friend or family member who has been down or sad and what is one of the first things that we try to do for them? Yep, we try to make them laugh or bring a smile to their face.

Laughter just feels good. It’s a physical and audible way of our bodies expressing happiness. So be happy today and laugh. Laugh alot. Let the kid inside of you come out and play. Again, life is too short to take it too seriously. This life is over before you know it, so why not fill it with laughter and peeing your pants (that’s what happens when something is super funny). 🙂

Have a good day everyone. Live. Love. Laugh.

– Hector

In Blog, Life, Personal Growth, Religion, Students happy, hector garcia, laugh, laughter, live, love, make a shift