Archives For love

Today is Valentines Day.  Flower shops will make a killing, women will receive a guilt free day of chocolate binging, and restaurants will make tons of money off of couples trying to do that whole romantic dinner thing.  Whatever you have planned today, have fun and enjoy this day that celebrates Love.

For those of you going out, here are a few nice little tips from my friend Morgan Williams.  Her tips are perfect not only for today, but everyday.  She refers to these as the “basics”, but whether you’re already doing these or not, the world will be a better place if we all took a few notes from Morgan:


1. Open every door for her. Do not let her open it as she is used to doing, surprise her by being a …gentleman.

2. Slide her chair out for her and assist her in taking it closer to the table. You may feel odd doing this, as you never know what chair she wants, and the host is in the way, but regardless – DO IT.

3. Ask her what she would like to drink then order for the both of you, but no matter what don’t answer the server first – that is so rude and it shows you do not know any better and are not aware of her. We want to know we are safe with you, which means you’ve got to think about her, not you.

4. When the server would like to know if you would like any dessert, ask the lady -regardless if you want any or all of it or even none.

5. Make reservations, clean your car (even if its an older model)


1. Be nice. Be a pleasant person to be around, not always complaining and rude. Let your date treat you right.

2. Let him open your doors. I know it feels odd when the car is turned off and you are sitting in the dark hopping he knows to open the door. This is new for both of you.

3. You better look good for your man, but no hoochie momma clothes. You are not going to a club after. You are a classy lady.

4. Your date has probably planned more than you can see, and is nervous, and etc. – Never cease to say thank you, your date will be grateful to know you saw the effort made and appreciate it.

5. Treat him like a king and you’ll be treated like a queen.

Have fun out there.  Be careful.

– Hector


August 5, 2010 — Leave a comment


One of the most popular phrases that we’ve all heard at least once and will continue to hear is that “life isn’t easy”.  It’s really not and for some it’s an every day balance between work, kids, school, activities, debt, relationships, friendships, play, and family.  If we’re not careful, life can beat the crap out of us and keep us down for long stretches of time.

But the hardness of life doesn’t have to defeat us or win.  We can choose everyday to fight back and allow the good things in life to supercede the bad.  We can make the choice to wake up every morning and be happy or find at least one tiny little thing to focus on that will keep our head above water for that day.  For some it’s their kids or mate.  For others it can be their faith in God.  Some even find it in a hobby, sport, or even their craft.  Whatever the case, I feel like there are at least three things that we can do everyday that will always make it good a one.


I’ve had someone tell me before, “I love the way that you live life”.  This was of course in response to seeing all the stuff that I do and how much fun I’m always trying to have.  Regardless of how tough things might be, I really do love life.  I enjoy living and experiencing all that life has to offer.  If I could afford it, I would travel the world and see as much of it as I could.  I do what I can now with what I have, but this life was meant to live and that’s what I’m trying to do. I’m a little kid in a man’s body per se, and yes, I do want to have as much fun as possible.  Just seems like the natural way to live.

Every morning when you wake up, choose to Live.  Don’t get caught up in the routines of life.   Make the most of everyday.  Treat yourself.  Have fun.  Take time out to have fun, however that may be.  And if you have a hard time treating yourself, get someone to help push you and force you to make time.  Take trips.  Go running.  Swim.  Ride a bike.  Do something good for someone else.  Give.  Dance, even if it’s by yourself in your home with the radio full volume.  Move yourself to get the most out of every single stinkin day of your life.  This life is too short to get caught up in the crap that it throws at us everyday.


I firmly believe that Life without Love is no life at all.  There are so many different forms of love.  There’s the love that you have for your kids or family.  There’s love that you would feel towards a friend.  And then there’s straight up falling in love, which is one of my favorites.  But love is essential if we are going to say that we’re “living life”.

I’ve been “blessed” with such a big heart and the ability to love and forgive so easily.  Sometimes it’s a blessing and sometimes it feels like a curse, but I definitely wear my heart on my sleeve and I’m not ashamed of it.  Those who know me well know that I have no problem expressing my feelings and sharing my heart.  Again, life is too short to keep what we feel bottled up inside and all to ourselves.  If I love someone why keep it inside?  Why not let that person know how much they are loved?  We all want to be loved and appreciated, so by me keeping that inside, I’m depriving someone from receiving one of the most powerful feelings and emotions we as humans could ever experience.

Open your heart today.  Allow yourself to love and be loved.  Don’t be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve and let others know what you feel or think.  We’re emotional beings and were created to love.  Love with all of your heart.  There should be no such thing as loving with half of it anyway, right?  Choose to love today.  Give love today.  And if someone loves you, open your heart and receive it.


Some research shows that by the time the average kid reaches kindergarten, he or she is laughing some 300 times each day.  Compare that to adults who only laugh about 15 – 17 times per day (men and women laugh about the same, just at different things of course).

I’m 38 years old, and I would have to say that my laughter count is more than likely way more than 17 and hopefully closer to that of a kid’s.  I love to laugh and I love making people laugh.  A day without any laughter would suck!  We all know how powerful laughter is too, because we’ve all had a friend or family member who has been down or sad and what is one of the first things that we try to do for them?  Yep, we try to make them laugh or bring a smile to their face.

Laughter just feels good.  It’s a physical and audible way of our bodies expressing happiness.  So be happy today and laugh.  Laugh alot.  Let the kid inside of you come out and play.  Again, life is too short to take it too seriously.  This life is over before you know it, so why not fill it with laughter and peeing your pants (that’s what happens when something is super funny).  🙂

Have a good day everyone.  Live. Love. Laugh.

– Hector


My day usually starts with the opening of our blinds around the house, allowing the sun to come in and hang out for a while.  I make coffee and begin with one of many huge cups.  This morning was an early one for me and after pouring that cup, I decided to sit on the back steps and enjoy the cool morning and hang out with my son.  He’s a 70+lb golden retriever named Homie and he’s basically like a child to us.

Had this 13 year old dog since he was a puppy.  We have a lot of history together and so many memories, good and bad.  When he was a puppy he had an uncontrollable chewing fetish and over the course of a couple of years he had destroyed a couple pairs of glasses, a cell phone, wood window seals, shoes, tv remote controls, and half of a Christmas tree.  Yeah, that’s right, he ate half of our tree one Christmas.  We came home one day to find that the bottom half of our tree was missing and ornaments that once had a place to hang were all over the floor.  Apparently the taste of the tree was so good that Homie decided to have a good lunch.  He’s crazy to say the least, but despite his antics over the years, we still love him.

As he grew up, I’ll admit that I didn’t handle a lot of his antics very well.  He definitely tested my patience and received a few beat downs (a.k.a spankings).  Trust me, many times I wanted to give him more than a spanking, but even those ended up hurting my hand.  He of course matured and developed into a very obedient and loving animal.  Best dog I’ve ever had.

With all this said, I’ll get to my reason for this post.  As a dog owner and straight up animal lover, there’s a trait about dogs that I think we can all learn from.  If I ever saw the ability to forgive in any animal, it would have to be dogs.  And I learned this a looonngg time ago.  There were many times that Homie would “piss me off” and I found my self slapping him in the hind area like I was spanking a kid.  Multiple times and sometimes a punch in the ribs.  Yeah i know, not good, but that was then.  Remember, my patience was tested with this guy.  But every time, immediately following one of these disciplining episodes, I could sit next to Homie and notion for him to come give me a hug and he’d be right there.  It didn’t make any sense.  I had just given him a whoopin, why would he even want to be near me?

You see, dogs don’t know how to hold grudges.  They don’t know how to hold unforgiveness.  Of course, if they’re seriously abused they’ll develop a fear towards humans, but in general, dogs only know how to do one thing, and that’s love.  It’s as if they were born to love us humans, and I’d say that there’s a lot that we can learn from them.  You could slap a dog, kick him, give him a couple of body slams, and then lay on the ground next to him and he’ll be right there ready to play and show his love.  He/she completely forgets that just a few minutes ago you were unleashing your “fury” on them.

Let’s keep this in mind today as we go about our business.  If a dog has the ability to forgive as easily as they do, shouldn’t we all the more?  If you are holding a grudge against anyone or have been carrying around unforgiveness, lay it down.  It’s not worth the effort to carry that junk with you.  It actually takes more energy to walk around being bitter and mad at someone than it does to simply forgive, let go, and move on.  It’s definitely easier to say this than do, but we all have the power to forgive.  And if you need help with that, God is always right there ready to help.  Unforgiveness is dangerous and limits our growth.

So learn from the dog.  Study their ways.  Live a lifestyle of forgiveness.  And if you don’t own a dog, go get one today or tomorrow, or this weekend.  They’ll change your life.

– Hector

A heart-shaped pen

March 24, 2010 — Leave a comment


Those that know me well know that I’m a guy with a huge heart.  Not a huge physical heart of course (how would they know that?), but the other one.  The one that’s full of love and passion and lots of other stuff.  If I love something or someone, I pour my whole heart into “it”.  I believe that if you’re passionate enough about something, why only give it 50% of yourself?  Why not give 100%?  If you love someone, why only give a portion of your heart?  Why not give them all of it?  Right?

Well, this is how I live and this is what you’ll get if you know me and are a part of my life.  I doubt that I’ll ever be accused of not being passionate enough.  I hope I don’t?  Life is too short to simply be content and settle for whatever.  You can’t fake passion either.  It’s either in you or it’s not.  And if you ever have to question whether you’re passionate about something or someone, then you’re probably not.

With this said, there’s one thing that I’ve realized over the years that I am passionate about, and that’s writing.  Not just writing for the sake of writing, but writing what’s on and in my heart.  If you’re a close friend or family member, you may have received one of my heartfelt letters once or maybe twice.  They’re sometimes short and sweet, while other times they can be described as “novels”, as one dear friend described them.  In addition to my novels I simply love writing stories.  What’s funny is that i didn’t realize that until this year.  It’s been sitting there, waiting to come out and it’s coming out in the form of kid’s stories.  Don’t worry, I’ll be blogging about this later this week.

The written word is powerful though.  Words alone are powerful, but putting them down on paper or typing them in an email makes them permanent and brings them to life.  Words have the ability to tear down someone or lift them up.  The written word can make the difference between someone doing something great or someone giving up.  They can cause someone to fall for you . . . or run from you.

So, if you you’re going to write, at least do it with all of your heart.  If you’re going to send a letter to someone you love, be sure to give the recipient no room to question how you really feel.  Yeah, that’s right, put it all out there.  If someone needs advice or counsel and you feel you have some answers, don’t hold back, put it all in there.  Do it with care and use your words wisely.  Just be sure that your heart is inside.  Do that and you can be assured that your words will be nothing less than powerful.

– Hector

Note:  Graphic above is from the portfolio of artist Konstantin Shalev on

Ride the Short Bus

February 3, 2009 — Leave a comment

Ever wonder why the “short bus” is so short?  You know what I’m talking about.  It’s that small yellow school bus that only seats about 15 people and comes equipped with a ramp for the handicapped.  Well, do you know why it’s that size?  It’s because the kind of people that the bus picks up are few per school and it just wouldn’t be necessary to use the standard 50 – 70 passenger size bus.

shortbusThat bus has been the butt of all jokes since its introduction to the world and I’m guilty, as many of you probably are, of teasing a friend as being someone who use to ride the “short bus”.  There’s always a perfect time for that joke and it never gets old.  Ha, I’m laughing right now just typing about it.

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