Today’s post is probably the most serious post I’ve ever written, so please take your time to read.  It’s about an addiction that I have and I’m not sure what to do about it.  I’m not sure when or how it started but I’m currently looking into counseling for this obsession.  I’m sure many of you will be able to relate, and if so, more power to you.

I’ve always thought that panda bears were cute, but after seeing the commercial below, their cuteness level became coupled with what I can only describe as “awesome”.  In these commercials you have a very innocent looking panda causing hell because no one wants to eat his branded milk product.  “Ok, you’re not going to eat my panda cheese?  Well how about I disconnect your IV?”  Yeah, you don’t want to mess with the panda.  He’ll mess your world up.

The image that we receive from pandas for the most part is one of peace, chillin, eating bamboo all day long and playing on little green kids horses. Every photo or video you see of a panda they’re playing or sliding, or sitting like a drunk human with a stick of bamboo in their hand. They know that eating bamboo from the side of their mouth is more cute than eating it with the front teeth. They’re much cuter rocking on a green horse with ice cream in their hand than any baby could ever be. They don’t appear threatening at all but from what I’ve read, they can be the most aggressive bears out there.

Anyway, if I could go to china and buy one, I would. I would bring him home, have lots of toys for him to play with in the back yard, build him a huge swing set, and teach him how to cut my grass and make breakfast tacos. This is my confession and I’m not ashamed.  So if you want to get me anything for Christmas, make it visa gift cards, which I will use to go to China this coming year and pick up a panda.  Only costs about $2 million a year to rent one.  Power to your people . . . I mean, the panda!

- Hector Garcia

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 8th, 2011 at 7:31 am and is filed under Blog, Life, Personal Growth. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.