Facebook has been crazy today with all the posts by people upset with the recent news regarding the Komen Foundations withdrawal of support for Planned Parenthood.  Reportedly they pulled funding because of pressure from the pro-life side as well as stating that they have new guidelines to abide by in regards to who they support.  Whatever the case, everyone is talking about this and I could see this breaking the Komen foundation at some point.  Maybe.

I’m no expert, but I’m certain that the reasons for this move by Komen that we’re hearing reported by news outlets all over the world are not the whole story.  More will come out soon and yes, there’s always a bigger story waiting to be told.

From the minute I heard this air, several thoughts came to mind, which I share below.  Included with these will be a little advice to anyone jumping on the band wagon and hating on Komen.

KOMEN CAN DO WHAT THEY WANT WITH THEIR MONEY

The Komen Foundation has been a strong leader in the fight against breast cancer and has helped hundreds of thousands of women around the world in their effort.  They have had a long standing relationship with Planned Parenthood and until today, I bet many people didn’t even know that they were a big donor to Planned Parenthood.  I didn’t.

In the end, Komen has the right to pick and choose who they want to support.  It’s their money and their cause and even if some may not like the reason for this decision, it is what it is, and it’s their choice.  If you were a regular giver to the foundation and you gave because you knew they were helping Planned Parenthood, then yes, you have reason to be upset.  But if you never gave a cent to either the foundation or Planned Parenthood, what should it matter to you.  Planned Parenthood is well funded and they will find a replacement donor.  Someone will step up and fill this gap for them.

So rather than complain and hate on Komen, just write a check to Planned Parenthood.  If not, then just go back to updating your facebook status and twitter accounts with pictures of puppies and youtube videos of drunk mexicans dancing at Quinceaneras.

PLANNED PARENTHOOD, THE ABORTION KINGS

If you hear the name “Planned Parenthood” the first thing that comes to mind is abortions.  While I’m not an advocate of murdering unborn babies, it’s sad that this is all that they are known for.  Yes, they offer a lot of great services for women but unless you actually take advantage of those services, you would only know them as the “abortion clinic”.

A story like this brings lots of attention to Planned Parenthood and almost makes them out to be the “good guys” while Komen is the evil right wing christian strong arm.  While PP still offers great services to women, a large number of people around the world can’t support them because of the abortion factor, including myself.  They will always be known as the “abortion clinic” and it’ll always overshadow anything “good” that they offer to women.

KEEP ON GIVING

I don’t know anyone personally that donates to Komen or PP on a regular basis.  I know a few that run the marathons or participate in charity events, but that’s about it.  Because of this it’s hilarious to read posts from people bashing Komen and giving praise and showing support to little ole helpless Planned Parenthood. People who i know never give to either one of these organizations don’t realize how foolish they sound when they say they’re never going to give to Komen or they’re going to “take their money elsewhere”.  Cracks me up.

If you give to any organization because you believe in what they do and what they stand for, keep giving.  Don’t let something like this discourage you or lose hope in the “good work” that you’ve chosen to give to.  Not every organization is perfect and for the most part even charities and non-profits have to operate like businesses.  Just do what you can and give what you can to causes that you believe in.

I don’t give to Komen and I’ve already explained why I can’t support PP.  However, I give to causes when i can and i give in different ways and it’s not always in the form of money.  So keep doing what you’re doing and if you’re not doing anything, get off your butt and make a difference.

I leave you with the words to a new song I found today:  “tonight, we are young . . . so let’s set the world on fire, we can burn brighter than the sun”.  Go burn bright my friends.  Set something on fire, as long as it’s not your hair or your friend’s car.

- Hector

New Years eve is tomorrow.  Yeah, I forgot about that until this morning on my Chickfila coffee run.

Everyone is already preparing for their resolutions and most of those have to do with either eating better or losing weight.  Well, I want to encourage you all to do things different this year.  Make some resolutions that will actually matter and make a difference in your life.  Here are a few suggestions or tips.  Do these for at least two weeks straight and they’ll become habit.

1.  GIVE MORE HUGS

People love hugs.  I remember a friend of mine several years ago introducing me and all of his friends to the 2 or 3 minute hug.  It was very very uncomfortable and to this day if anyone tries to give me a hug like that other than my mom or girfriend, they will get punched.  ha.  However, the moral of this story is to hug and show more love.  A hug is powerful.  Much better than a hand shake.  And it will always make someone’s day a little brighter and make a person feel loved.  Do more hugging and spread the love.

2.  TALK LESS, LISTEN MORE

Become a better listener this year.  Apply this to your relationships and you’ll see a big difference in the way you communicate with others, especially your spouse or significant other.  I’m learning to be a better listener and learning that I don’t always have to have the last word.  Sometimes your friends or family just need you to listen and not say anything or offer any advice.  We have all been in a position where all we needed was to be heard.  Become a better listener.  Talk less.  A good listener will understand better and with better understanding comes better relationships.

3.  RIDE YOUR BIKE

There’s something about being on a bicycle and just cruising around the neighborhood or further.  Yes, it’s a form of excercise but don’t do it just for that.  Do it to get out of the house and simply do it for fun.  Kids love their bikes and if you watch kids riding their bikes you’ll see how much fun they’re having.  There’s something very freeing about being behind the power of your bicycle.  Adults, ride your bikes more and allow yourself to be a kid on a regular basis.  Ride with your kids and family but also take some time to get out and ride with just your partner.  Ride to a restaurant or bar for a drink.  Get out.  Have fun.  Live on the edge.  haha.  ok, maybe not on the edge, but you get the picture.

4.  DO SOMETHING YOU’VE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO

I’m realizing that I do have a bucket list and I’m taking note of it.  One of the things that I’ve been wanting to do for a while is to get involved with theater or community acting.  Since being involved with drama in high school I’ve always had an interest in acting or at least giving my acting chops a try.  And it’s all just for fun, not to pursue a career  or anything.  So this year I will check that off my list as I pursue this and get plugged into a community theater or some type of acting class.  I may do great or I may get kicked out, who knows.  I can still recite Hamlet’s “to be or not to be” soliloquy so that’s a start.

There has to be at least one thing you’ve always wanted to do.  Step out this year and give it a try.  Start a new business.  Build something.  Learn a new trade or skill.  Go somewhere.  Visit that city or country that you’ve always wanted to visit.  Whatever it is, make plans to do it and stick to it.  Don’t let another year go by without doing that one thing or two or three.

5.  GIVE MORE

There’s a blog post somewhere in here that I posted about Christmas and how difficult it is for me to get into the “spirit”.  It has to do with feeling forced to buy gifts for people because a holiday says I should.  I love giving gifts, but I like doing it for no reason and for people that deserve it.  The best gift you could ever receive from anyone is a gift that you don’t deserve or expect.

This year, start giving more and taking less.  Start practicing with putting others first and thinking about yourself less.  A good way to start is to put some money aside every week or month and begin looking for needs to fulfill.  You may here of a family that’s struggling and all they could use help with one week is groceries.  Since you have that cash put aside you put yourself in a position to help immediately.  Your help doesn’t always have to involve money either.  Give your time.  Your love.  Your good looks.

6.  PANDAS

This last one is free.  Simply fall in love with pandas and look at their pictures everyday in a google search.  Will always, always brighten your day and make you feel awesome.

Have a great New Year everyone.  Do great things and live like this could be your last year on earth.  The world needs you.  Find out how and then do life with everything you’ve got. Happy New Year!

- Hector Garcia

Today’s post is probably the most serious post I’ve ever written, so please take your time to read.  It’s about an addiction that I have and I’m not sure what to do about it.  I’m not sure when or how it started but I’m currently looking into counseling for this obsession.  I’m sure many of you will be able to relate, and if so, more power to you.

I’ve always thought that panda bears were cute, but after seeing the commercial below, their cuteness level became coupled with what I can only describe as “awesome”.  In these commercials you have a very innocent looking panda causing hell because no one wants to eat his branded milk product.  “Ok, you’re not going to eat my panda cheese?  Well how about I disconnect your IV?”  Yeah, you don’t want to mess with the panda.  He’ll mess your world up.

The image that we receive from pandas for the most part is one of peace, chillin, eating bamboo all day long and playing on little green kids horses. Every photo or video you see of a panda they’re playing or sliding, or sitting like a drunk human with a stick of bamboo in their hand. They know that eating bamboo from the side of their mouth is more cute than eating it with the front teeth. They’re much cuter rocking on a green horse with ice cream in their hand than any baby could ever be. They don’t appear threatening at all but from what I’ve read, they can be the most aggressive bears out there.

Anyway, if I could go to china and buy one, I would. I would bring him home, have lots of toys for him to play with in the back yard, build him a huge swing set, and teach him how to cut my grass and make breakfast tacos. This is my confession and I’m not ashamed.  So if you want to get me anything for Christmas, make it visa gift cards, which I will use to go to China this coming year and pick up a panda.  Only costs about $2 million a year to rent one.  Power to your people . . . I mean, the panda!

- Hector Garcia

It was still morning, probably around 10am, and we were headed outside for our daily dose of exercise, also known as gym class.  The sun was out, the weather was cool, and as usual, I was in my favorite class of the day.  Most people hated gym class because of having to dress in uniform, but I loved it.  As we walked out that morning, my friends and I were goofing off like we normally do as well as trying to impress the girls.  Lots of laughing, jumping around, and big smiles.  Well, all of that came to a halt after I did something that sucked not only for me but for the person I did it to.  As “innocent” and playful as it may have seemed at the time, it served as a wake up call to my little 12 year old self.

You see, I had been bullying this little white kid for most of the semester.  Not sure how it all started, but everyday or at least every other day I was picking on this kid by intimidating him with “toughness” and making him give me his lunch money.  Yes, just like in the movies, I was getting lunch money from this kid and it was easy.  I never got violent with him or hit him, but there was enough intimidation there to get him to comply.

So there I was, walking out to the field during gym glass, and in front of me was this little blond headed kid.  Remember, I was hooked on impressing my friends, so a perfect opportunity was right there.  I remember coming up from behind him and in an instant, I had pulled his shorts down to his ankles.  He was totally caught off guard, but more than that, I embarrassed the hell out of him. All red faced and in shock, he quickly pulled his shorts back up.  As quickly as my friends started laughing and making fun of him, it all came to an end by the grip of my gym teacher’s hand on my shoulder.  It wasn’t funny to him of course, and a few minutes later, I found myself sitting in the principal’s office.

I was a “good” kid overall and to be sitting in the principal’s office, waiting to receive a good paddling, was not consistent with who I was.  I felt bad for what I did to that kid and I remember realizing how much of an a-hole I was to him.  The paddling didn’t hurt that much, but what did hurt was the guilt that I felt for being a bully to this kid.  I didn’t immediately apologize for being a jerk to him, but I think he was very relieved that the bullying had stopped and we actually became friends at some point.

I’m not proud of this, but I definitely learned a lot from it.  There’s been a lot of talk about bullying lately on television and online.  Not sure why, but either there is an increase in bullying or it’s just receiving more attention.  Whatever the case, bullying is bullying and it shouldn’t happen.  If I could take back what I did to that kid I would, as well as push myself in a corner and beat the crap out of myself.

Kids get bullied all the time, and if you have a son or daughter, they could be a victim without you ever knowing.  It’s not something your kids will gladly share with you, so you would have to be proactive and look for signs.  I’m sure this kid that I was picking on never wanted to come out and share this with his parents or friends and was toughing it out as much as he could.

Next week I will share a few tips that could help your kid combat bullying.  I will also share some signs that your parents can look for in your child if they are being bullied. Later in the week I will share some thoughts that could benefit any young people that are bully’s themselves.  Till then, give your kids a big fat hug when you see them later today.  And if you’re a bully, punch yourself in the face.  At least 15 times.

- Hector

I’m 5’8″ and weigh anywhere from 195 – 199lbs.  Most of my weight is pure muscle, but that’s another topic for another day.    Sounds like a lot of weight but if you see me regularly, I think it’s safe to say that I’m not over weight and in fairly good health.  Yeah, my ideal weight should be about 180lbs, but I’m working on it.  I was a super fat baby with a body type similar to the michelen man, but at 39 years old the only baby fat left is in my cheeks and belly.

The subject of weight is a very sensitive one and I know that many people play it safe when discussing this topic.  No one wants to offend anyone and we all know at least one person who struggles with their weight on a daily basis.  Of course there are many who are clearly overweight but they’re happy with the way they are.  That’s awesome, and this blog post is not for them.  This post is for those that don’t like the extra pounds they carry around and want to lose weight but haven’t been able to or don’t know how.

I’m not a weight loss or health expert.  I’m just a regular guy who loves food, loves life, and loves to play.  By playing, I mean that I love to be active. I ride my bikes, I run, I workout, I build stuff, and I cut my own grass.  All of this has helped keep me from pushing over 200lbs and I will continue to be this active until I can’t walk anymore.  But I do have some tips for anyone wanting to shed some weight and these tips are very basic and very blunt.  Unless you have a medical condition like a hyper thyroid or disability, I feel like there is no reason for anyone to be over weight.  Yes, I’m being very transparent about this subject, but you’ll appreciate it.  I think.

BE ACTIVE

Yes, it’s no secret that one of the main things that needs to take place in weight loss is exercise.  But exercise doesn’t always have to include a gym membership or lifting weights.  I believe that exercise should be fun and there are many ways to get some exercise in while doing something else at the same time.  I’ve been riding bmx and bicycles since middle school and it has been my number one hobby/sport since then.  Riding keeps me active and the style of riding that I do has also helped keep me toned to some extent.  I’m having fun while getting in some exercise.  In addition I run, walk regularly, and when i can I hit the gym.

If you’re a stay at home mom and you have kids, take those kids for walks everyday.  Take the baby out in a stroller to the park every single day or go for a three mile walk with them.  The weather is nice right now so there’s no reason why you can’t get out and get some walking in.  Make time to have fun and play regularly.  Getting in some exercise doesn’t have to kill you.  It can actually be a lot of fun.

STOP EATING SO MUCH AND SO FREQUENTLY

I love food!  I really do and I am not a person that can eat “healthy” or count calories.  What I have learned however is that eating in moderation and not over eating is a huge plus when trying to maintain or lose weight.  I’ve learned that I don’t need to order the huge burger and fries and eat the whole thing all by myself.  When my girl friend and I go out and eat, we now order one meal and we share it.  It’s more than enough for us and we’re saving money at the same time.

It’s all about self control and discipline.  Many people eat out of boredom and find themselves snacking all day long.  Before they know it they’ve eaten so much junk throughout the day, including their lunch and dinner.  Start training yourself to eat 3 good meals a day, and if you want to snack, do it moderately and replace those cookies, candybars, and chips with fruit or nuts.

NO MORE COKES

One thing that i know i’ve had to do recently that I know will help with some weight loss is to cut soda out of my diet.  All of that sugar and syrup is no good and I’m sure I could easily lose about 5 – 8 pounds simply by removing that from my diet.  If this is you as well, replace that soda with water, not another sugar filled drink.

IT’S A LIFESTYLE

Being fit or maintaining a decent weight is a lifestyle.  Again, i feel that it should be fun and not a chore.  Yes, it’s hard work and takes sacrifice, but that’s usually the case with anything.  So if you’re struggling with this, don’t be discouraged.  Do what you can but do something.  We all have the time to make changes in our life and in our body.  Some of us have plenty of time, while some have to schedule it in like a doctor’s appointment.  But there should be no excuse to be overweight, unless you like that body type of course.  Like i said, some do, and that’s great.  Flaunt it and maintain that confidence.  For everyone else, start small and work your way up.  Make changes in your lifestyle everyday and before you know it, you’ll start seeing a difference.

As for me, I’ll most likely have a good lunch today and stop eating when i’m full.  I see the gym in my future for tonight as well.  And maybe a little debbie snack cake.  hahah.  Enjoy your day.

- Hector

When i cam across this video last week, I couldn’t help but watch it more than once. It’s a powerful celebration of marriage and 31 Films did an amazing job at touching the heart and reminding us of how beautiful and precious marriage should and can be.

If you’re married, you hopefully remember your wedding day and all of the little things that made your wedding special. But aside from the big day, hopefully you remember why you chose to marry that certain person. Even if there was not big wedding day, flowers, ring bearer, tuxedos or people eating and getting happy drunk at your reception, there was a reason you decided that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with that person.

With time and familiarity, we can all forget the reasons that we chose to be with whom we’re with. Life can be challenging and as we do life with our partner, have kids, and live our day to day, love can sometimes get lost. As my beautiful girlfriend put it this weekend, love can find itself on the shelf. It sits there with the hope of not being there too long. It doesn’t want to be there and finds it awkward to be there at all, but it’s there and it’s waiting. Before a couple knows it, love is missing, only to find it sitting on that shelf, full of cobwebs, dust, and worn.

Keep love off the shelf. Don’t forget why you married your partner. Don’t forget the reasons that you fell in love with that man or that woman and always keep love at the forefront. Don’t allow life to beat you guys up or to steal what was so precious at one point. Allow love to thrive, to live, to breathe. Love is no good on a shelf. It’s pages beg to be read daily and it loves having bookmarks and notes written throughout. If it’s been on the shelf for you, take it down. Dust it off, clean it up, place it near a window and let the sun shine down on it so that it can be seen. Read it again with your partner and let love do what it does best.

With love.

Hector

He was a successful stock broker, making big money with a bright future ahead of him.  He was at the top of his game until one day he lost a ton of money for one of his clients.  This failure broke him down and his days on the exchange floor suddenly came to a hault.  The next time you see him he’s delivering packages on the streets of New York City working as a bike messenger . . . and he loves it.

This is the story behind the 1986 bike movie Quicksilver, starring Kevin Bacon.  yeah, that’s right, freakin Kevin Bacon!  ha.  Well, the financially successful person who leaves it all for something more simple is a story that resonates with many across the world.  Someone shared with me last week about a friend that spent years in law school only to end up as a park ranger at Yellow Stone National Park.  And it wasn’t because times got tough or there were no attorney jobs available, it was because working at the park was more desirable and fulfilling.

How much happier would we all be if we could do something we loved, rather than something we HAD to do.  Many students leave high school with no clue about what they want to do with their lives.  Many do what is expected or status quo which is to go to college and study to be in a field that will make the most money.  I did it and I knew many others who did the same.  College campuses are full of people who don’t know what they really want out of life and hope that whatever they’re doing pays off or makes them happy.  In my case my major changed almost every semester because I didn’t know what I wanted to do.  Unfortunately I never finished school and left early to pursue other interests.

I personally feel that most people leaving high school have no idea what they want to be when they “grow up” and don’t even really know who they are yet.  There are many adults walking around right now who still don’t know what they want to do when they grow up.  For me, it wasn’t until i was in my mid thirties that I finally realized what I would like to do and what I would like out of life in general.  If I had to go back to school to study something, only now do i know what I would like to study.  Most likely won’t go back, but at least I know what I want.

So wherever you are right now in life, take the time to figure out what you really want out of life.  If you’re fresh out of high school, take time to learn a little more about yourself.  Maybe take some time off or if you need to stay in school to keep the rhythm going, take courses that might be in the direction you see yourself going but classes that can easily be applied to other majors.  If you’re an adult who feels like you’re in a rut or unhappy with where you are, begin asking yourself what makes you happy.  What do you have a passion about?  What are you most passionate about that could actually make money or become a job opportunity.  In the case of the lawyer who became park ranger, she chose to do something that made her happy, not rich.  She chose her passion over comfort, and she’s probably more happy than any of her attorney friends.  Maybe, who knows? 

Be happy.  Choose passion.  You only live once.  Make it count.  Do what you love.  Love what you’re doing and be the best one in the whole wide world at it.

- Hector

No one ever pays attention to the flight instructions before a flight.  If you’re like me, you’re checking emails, texts, or updating your facebook status while every once in a while looking in the direction of the flight attendant like you’re interested.  But if you’ve flown enough, who cares what they’re saying, right?  It’s the same thing every time anyway.

There’s one set of instructions that I never forget though.  They tell you that if the plane goes down or if one of the engines blows up and takes out half of one side of the plane, to be sure to put on your oxygen mask immediately, and to do so before trying to assist anyone else.  Instinctively you might want to help someone else immediately, but what help would you be to them if you yourself pass out from lack of oxygen.  It’s not selfish, but rather smart in this case to think about yourself first.

In talking with my girlfriend not too long ago, the topic came up of couples with children, and how many put their lives on hold once a child is added to the mix.  We discussed how many parents put so much focus on their children that they then begin to neglect their relationship with one another and in many cases there’s a huge disconnect.  Single parents as well, are guilty of losing sight of themselves in these cases.  No parent wants to be selfish and putting the kids first seems to be the natural thing to do.  It’s only until something “explodes” that a couple realizes how far they’ve grown apart.

Many might disagree with me on this but hear me out.  Kids should come first but not at the expense of the parents or couple who are raising those children.  What good would a couple be to their kids if they disconnect and the strength of their bond be weakened?  Does a couple look back after a divorce wishing that they would have put even more time into their kids?  I doubt it.  Many look back wishing that they would have done things differently and balanced everything better.  If a couple isn’t careful, they’ll be putting a death sentence on not only the relationship between them both but the entire family.  If the couple doesn’t have a strong loving relationship, what are they really offering to the kids?

Parents, guard your relationship with one another.  Nurture one another and put yourselves first.  You didn’t fall in love or marry one another with the condition that it would be solid as long as you didn’t have kids.  You’re a couple and partnership because you love one another and if kids are added to the mix, continue nurturing that love so that they can have a healthy example before them.  It’s not selfish to live this way either.  It’s you two taking in the oxygen first so that you can be alert, strong, and “alive” for your children.

If this speaks to you today, do me a favor.  Go home today after work and take some time to sit down with your husband or wife.  Bring this topic up and check yourselves.  See where you stand with one another.  If you’re guilty of neglecting each other, do something about it.  Fix it and start putting yourselves first.  In essence, you’ll be putting your kid’s well being up front as well.

With love – Hector

Since I created a facebook account over 2 years ago, I’ve reconnected with so many friends and family.  I’ll get a message or friend request from someone I knew some 10 – 15 years ago at least once a month.  Most of the time I accept these new friend requests, unless the person is straight up crazy.  ha.

Well, I received a random message recently from an old friend that was very encouraging.  We don’t know how powerful our words are until someone comes to you later with a message like his.  Here is what he said:

“Hey brotha! I just felt to tell you this, or remind you of something you told me along time ago that has always echoed in my mind. I was attempting that handrail at the original Dex skate park one time and crashed, i got upset and threw my bike from off of me and said, ” i hate this @%!#$@ bike!”, and you were right there and looked to me and said, “it’s not the bike . . . it’s the rider.” I have always took that as this, its not what we are going through, but how we go through it. I have really never kept it in practice, but i have never forgotten that… You may not have meant it that way or you may have, but i took it that way i guess because i knew i was not living right way back then and for a long time after… So i’m just saying thanks for speaking up.”

I’m pretty certain that I was just being Hector when I made that sarcastic statement, but it’s interesting what he got out of it and what it even means to him to this day.  He also has no idea how timely his message to me was.  It was very encouraging and exactly what I needed to hear that day.

We’re all going through something I’m sure.  Some more than others.  How we go through it or who we go through it with is what’s important.  With what has recently happened in Japan, I want to dedicate this post to our Japanese friends.  If we put things in perspective, I’m sure most of us could say that nothing we’re going through right now could compare to what that country is currently dealing with.  Entire villages/towns were wiped away in minutes.  Thousands of families are without homes and many will never find their missing loved ones.  Is one person’s crisis greater than another?  Not sure.  It all comes down to perspective.  Your car broke down and you have no money to fix it?  Ok, sorry about that, but think about the family who had to watch their entire town disappear before their eyes as one giant wave of water picked it up and carried it away.  Makes that car issue sound a little small doesn’t it?

Whatever you’re going through, just remember  “it’s not what we are going through, but how we go through it”.  Perspective.  God.  Friends.  Family.  Your loyal little puppy who licks your face when you’re crying.  The key is to GET THROUGH it.  The Japanese have a word or phrase “Ganbaru”.  It translates to mean “never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever give up!”

Ganbaru everyone.  Ganbaru.

- Hector

In the boxing movie Million Dollar Baby, Clint Eastwood’s new female boxing project named Maggie, played by Hillary Swank, ends up having to face her first opponent with some unknown business man/fight promoter as her manager.  Frankie Dunn, Clint’s character, is hard nosed and only promised Maggie that he would train her and not go any further.

This first fight exposes a few of Maggie’s weaknesses, while Frankie sits in the stands frustrated with some of her fighting mistakes.  In her corner is her “manager” who of course is only interested in making some cash off the fight, not very much concerned about his fighter.  Not being able to take anymore torture, Frankie leaves the stands and ends up on the side of the ring coaching Maggie with swiftness.  In those few minutes Frankie decides to take on the role of manager and by the next round Maggie takes out her opponent.

Maggie wouldn’t have been able to win that first fight, or many after that if she didn’t have good people in her corner coaching and guiding her.  It made all the difference in the world to have Frankie step in and tell her exactly what she needed to do.  Having a corner full of good people is important to every one of us.  There’s no reason for any of us to go through life’s challenges without the help of friends, family, and people that truly care about us.

With this said, I ask you this question:  Who’s in your corner?  Who do you have speaking into your life and offering counsel on a daily basis.  Who do you entrust with the important and most valuable parts of your life?  Are they giving good counsel?  Solid counsel?  Do they have your best interests in mind or do they simply tell you what you want to hear?

There’s really only two kinds of people you want in your corner:  honest people and experienced people.

HONESTY

If you’re going to give permission to people to speak into your life and give you counsel, you want people that are always going to shoot straight with you and not hold back.  Of course we want people to tell us what we’d like to hear, but that really does us no good.  Might make us feel good for a little bit, but it’s temporary.

I have several people that know they have permission to be very blunt and honest with me.  They know that they don’t have to take my feelings into account and that I WANT them to be 100% honest with me.  Some call it “tough love”, but why should pure honesty be referred to as “tough”?  Being straight with a friend or family member and not holding anything back is simply love, and it’s only “tough” because most of the time it’s not what we want to hear.

So evaluate your friends and family or your “support systems”.  Make sure they’re shooting straight with you.  If the counsel they give you doesn’t make you uncomfortable, then maybe they’re not giving you honest counsel.  And if you had people in your life that did shoot straight and you removed yourself from them because you didn’t like what you were hearing, bring those people back in.  You need them more than you know.

EXPERIENCE

In addition to having honest people giving us counsel, you want people that know what they’re talking about.  Maggie, the boxer, had an experienced fighter in her corner who taught her everything she needed to know.  All he had to do during a fight was be there in the corner with her, occasionally reminding her of what she had already be taught.

If you’re struggling with something or going through a crisis, why have someone or more than one person in your corner who’s worse off than you?  Yes, it’s good to have people to lean on who have been there or are going through the same thing, but they shouldn’t be the only ones in your corner.  Allow older, wiser people to stand by you.  People that may have been there in the past but succeeded at some point and learned from their mistakes.  People that are full of wisdom and strength that can actually “carry” you.  Allow people that will not only hold you by the hand while you go through your crap, but those that will actually do some hard work and stand behind you and push you from behind to help you get up the mountain.

I’m with most of you in that life isn’t easy and comes with daily challenges.  I’m thankful for the people in my life that are always there ready to not only hold my hand but also slap me in the back of the head when I’m not seeing clearly.  Step back today, wipe your lenses, and make an effort to see more clearly.  Make whatever changes you need to make today so that you fill up your corner with good, solid, honest, and experienced people.

- Hector